Sunday, 12 December 2010

The Winner of The X Factor 2010 is...THE X FACTOR!

12th December 2010

As I type, we are two hours away from the start of “The X Factor 2010” final. I’ll admit I stopped watching it a few weeks back, in fact the last person I remember being knocked out was Laura White.
This year’s X Factor (or #xfactor for my lovely Twitter fans) has had no “heroes” but has had it’s fair share of villains. There’s been no-one anyone can really like this year, however there has been plenty of people to hate. Matt Cardle, Rebecca and Wand Erection (to give them their proper name) remain in for tonight’s race to see who, assuming none of the multitude of childish usurpation plans come to fruition, will be Christmas number one.
Yes, these “Get the Trashmen Surfing Bird Song to Christmas Number 1” or “Cage Against The Machine” campaigns are ridiculously childish. Last year’s “Killing in the Name Of…” campaign was the perfect example people standing up and going “Yeah, I’m not having some big record company making money out of me, instead, genius that we are, we’ll give our money to whoever represents that other band I like! What do you mean that’s the same company? Err…ok…it’s not about that then, it’s about the song! YEAH FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TOLD ME! Oh I already have it…on CD…from quite few years ago…”. To be fair it worked, “Killing in the name of…” was Christmas number one, but the people who were going to buy whoever won the X Factor, still did so! All it did was make Radio 1 and a few other commercial radio station play a horrendously truncated and edited version of the Rage Against Machine hit, which of course followed…yes you guessed it Joe McElderberry’s “The Climb”, they played both songs! Who wins? You decided!
I got slightly sidetracked there, back to the “X Factor”, tonight’s final, yeah, to be quite honest, I really couldn’t care less who wins, or if they get to number one next week, which they will. Be honest. But whatever the outcome, the increasing reliance of the media on social networking site Twitter, will mean there will undoubtedly be some sort of controversy.
It’s got to the point where the phrase “X Factor fans are outraged” has become synonymous with “X Factor fans are still falling for it! THE IDIOTS”. I’m sorry but if you’re daft enough to vote in one of these “talent” shows and believe you’re vote counts for nothing more than the losers taxi fare home, then you’re a fool. Even more foolish are the ones who know this outright, but at least they’re voting “ironically”.
“I’m voting to keep Wagner in because, yeah, that’d screw them up! Imagine if he won!” NOOO! You’re an idiot! The X Factor has got you from both sides. My advice to anyone who feels they may vote in one of these shows is this, when the voting number comes up on screen, take your phone, place it in your mouth, done that? OK, now swallow, now normal procedure is to choke to death now, and this has two effects, firstly, you’re not going to lose any money voting in what is already a done deal and secondly, you’ve done the gene pool a favour by removing yourself from it.
Either way, like I was saying whoever wins tonight, be it…one of them…remember this. It’s all a game, and you’re losing, badly. SO SHUT UP and STOP PLAYING!

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